Thursday, 11 February 2016

The Legendary Yoruba Hips

My father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give me this day my desired fanny like *inserts name* forever & ever

Simple and succinct! That's a little girl's prayer. Yoruba too from Oke-Igbala in Irepodun LGA of Kwara State. Necessary or unnecessary prayer?

As a young girl I remember making similar supplication; one would have thought I was praying for life itself. Daily I obsessed over how rotund my hips would be. I remember sitting in front of my mom's shop one of those days, as far back as 1998 - she had this very long wooden bench which was always positioned between her shop and Alhaja's from the next store who was a big merchant of rice and other food items. That bench was my mini bed. It practically took all forms of activities I indulged in; sleeping; sitting; squatting; standing for purpose of elevating my height; playing WHOT and all else - I was seated but not alone as there were others sharing space with me. They were two older guys actually both of whom were our landlord's sons, *Akin and *Bode. "Buroda" (Brother) was the usual prefix before their names but I ditch that for smooth reading ;-) 

Bode, the younger of the two, made a show of whispering something into the ears of his elder brother and I heard them laugh out really loud. That caught my attention. My eyes trailed their line of vision and finally settled on the 'object' of  their amusement - my sister from another mother. There she was 200 meters away standing in all her glory. Full height about 5.5". Legs with weight on one foot. We saw her side view. She had on a bright colored off shoulder top very well complemented with a black ripped jeans molding her figure from waist down. Her figure even at the time is what you will rightly describe as a triangular shape. Yes she was endowed and still is. I kid you not the next second my sister made a turn to wave at her friend putting her rear in our direct view. Bode screamed "yeepa" then he went tumbling off my mama's bench. No the fall wasn't intentional, it was truly the effect of a glorious buxom and posterior. That was how my daily supplication started...I needed to have that kind of neck-craning hips. Hips that cause men to fall off chairs. I prayed that prayer for years(till I knew the difference between objective and motive) and even though I didn't exactly turn out all curvy I have had to smile at comments such as, "Honiilols the hippy fashionista" (Hey stop trying to remember what I look like! No mental checks!).

Every shape is beautiful truly.

Few dress up tips:
As a Pear Body type (sometimes called triangle), your hips are larger than your bust and you have a nicely defined waist. You have an elegant neck and proportionately slim arms and shoulders. You first gain weight in your bottom and legs followed by your tummy and upper body. Your waist is your best asset so don’t be afraid to show it off ;-)

How to Dress a Pear Body Shape
The key to dressing a pear body type is to enhance and add volume (or the illusion of volume) to your upper body while emphasizing your waist and de-emphasizing your lower body to create a balanced, hourglass appearance. Always look for tops that will will help balance your lower half while accentuating your defined waist:
  • Tops with nipped or fitted waists
  • Off the shoulder, boat-neck tops, wide V or U necks
  • Structured shoulders, princess or flutter sleeves
  • Embellishments around the bust and shoulders
  • Bright colors and bold patterns
Read more HERE

No doubt she's Yoruba
I have quite a number of Yoruba friends with the legendary hips. *Asucon is one(I refuse to divulge her details). Only very few of us seem to have fallen from the wrong tree. Is there some mixed blood somewhere? The other day I was walking down the road and I did something truly silly. I took a picture *covers face* Blame it on the advent of camera phones.

Isn't it funny how certain physical features are attributed to particular tribes? I would have continued on a weekly series tagging it #TheLengendary but let's see how the blogger community will run with this one. So here is the challenge: make a version of your own legendary post e.g The Legendary Igbo head *hahahahahahaha* It could be a physical feature or character attributed to any tribe in the world. Please drop a comment here or notify me somehow so I can read up. Is this a contest? Not exactly. It's just something different and maybe unblushing.

Post title inspired by Moses Obroku