WHY WAS THIS JUST A NOTE?

Posted by Lola on Friday, October 09, 2015 in Memoirs of Honiilols, What matters, Worth Blogging Experience | 5 comments

Right now there are about four different stories practically dancing around in my head. Exciting scenes. Witty dialogue. Role plays. None has found verbal or written expression - sadly. Maybe it is time to make the sought of computers that will extract information/ideas from one's thoughts and act as transcriber...

Where is my muse?

While I await the miraculous appearance of my muse there's this spoken word poetry I performed last year and it beats me why I never put it up as a post and left it only as a note on Facebook! It is my work, my thoughts so why not? Enjoy and of course beyond pleasurable reading, let the central message sink deep.

Life’s journey took me through west,

At age 15 when I first met Jessie

Damn right dirty, this girl was the best

A decade older Jessie got me living on the edge

2-4-7 we pleasured on the bed

Getting stoned on dope and sipping brew

Grass and coke, all on the menu

Ahead of my game I was really living large

Halima, Fatima, Cynthia, Sunita

Long legged, small waist, full bossom were my fondest

All around campus I was tagged the hottest

That was my name…

I lived for the fame

And everything that came with it;

Hot chicks, cool digs

All around town I was rolling

Pleasure was all I lived for

Earthly treasure was all I worked for

Tito…the household name in every bar

The name on the lips of all the women in the spa

Tito…the leader of the gang, dreaded master at shooting down targets

& the go-to guy for everything shady

Then the years fly by and they didn’t do me any justice

20 years on, my features are losing shape

I got doctors round the clock trying to save my face

20 years on I’m more bones than flesh, no strength in my chest

My liver is failing; the dust is calling out to me

All through my hay days, I sought solace & perfection in funny living;

took to parties, whoring and gambling; all of which morphed into pain

But…

While lurking in my bad habits I found something

Something…something worth nothing

It was more demanding than amusing

I found something more close but not perfect

Something so unambiguous

That in my pleasurable lifestyle, I had no content, no joy, no rest of mind

Even I a master had failed at his game

Nothing is certain in life. It is true.

But...who never fails or strays at his game?

Who never changes and remains the same?

My head is clouded…my eyes shrouded…

A name rings, starting to form

Who’s the best, in top form ahead of his game never to stumble?

A know all? A do all?

A conqueror, an unchangeable being? A victor, A warrior? 

Who is?

Who is the upholder of all things?

The everlasting, the rock, the true light, the builder, the foundation, the e-eend?

Who is?

JC? But that’s the Lord Jesus Christ

Yet in all my excitement and this feeling of newness

A voice shrills at me

Horrid thoughts rolling through my mind

Once a whore, always a whore

Once a gambler, always a gambler

Once a thief, always a thief

Once a lesbian, always a lesbian

Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic

Once a sinner, always a sinner

I’m lost and helpless to a fault

Whose voice shall I belief

But…

But…who then can condemn me?

For judgement is of the Lord’s

Who is saying unto me…

“All things are of God who hath reconciled us to Himself through Christ Jesus, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation”

He is saying unto me…

"Let the wicked forsake his ways and the unrighteous man his thoughts, Let him return to the Lord and he will have mercy on him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon".

That’s our God of love; his sweet fragrance spreading out

He’s calling you too…come home sister, come home brother to the feet of Christ Jesus. He is called the "Unbeatable Best"

Part of this piece was first written by ME in my jotter in 2008/2009 when I performed other poetry in the university under this same theme - "Unbeatable Best". If anyone from CASOR (Christ Ambassadors Student Outreach) Ago Iwoye branch or beyond has a video of me doing any of my recitals, I'll be happy to lay my hands on those again. All the other poems written and performed have somehow faded with the years *whew*

Caught in the art!

Image credit -Ms Baderinwa & Deviant art