Friday, 30 January 2015

Give it a title!!!

He calls you up on Friday night
You are shaking your bum lost in the fast song
Hands all over you, you can feel the wetness against your ear
Hip, hip, hip to the hurraaaay you flash your bossom
Twenty percent near drunkenness, you hope to survive the night... feel the tingle against your skin. 
He is not supposed to call now,you think to yourself. 
Phone still ringing, his face looking straight at you like he is right next to you
Your mind is in overdrive, the sane part still untouched by the gin
Heels clickin...'ko-ko-ko-ko,' on the marbled ground, you rush out
Quick dash into the adjoining hotel room...curtains all drawn, you take up a comfy position comes again
"Breathe easy",you sing to yourself 
Voice and breath steady, you pick up the phone...

'Oh baby' call out your voice slurred
"I'm sorry I was sound asleep...have you been calling for long?"

Waiting for his voice to come on then you hear the sounds of scraping chairs
Still waiting for his voice to come on you wondering if his phone was playing tricks with miss & redials
"Baby are you there?"
Then you hear a loud crash then a voice...."Bitch back off! Who the hell is your baby?

'I want you calling MY baby no more, f******** cunt, useless 'hore'. Leave my boyfriend the hell alone!"


Writer's note - "Whose baby I'm thinking? Believe me I don't know where this thought came from.

I almost wrote that a doctor was calling her from the emergency ward with news of a ghastly accident involving her sounded too tragic and there she was diggin' it with another man at a bash. A burnt lover woman just sounded hilarious and unexpected.

Thinking out loud.

This piece was originally written in '11 as one of my Facebook notes.


Monday, 26 January 2015

15-for-15 Challenge01 - Hey Woman!

I was privileged to have a heart-2-heart conversation with my boss recently and in the flurry of it all, something struck me. She said, “As a woman it is of utmost importance you know who are. This is the guiding light to every decision you make because it is sure to help you also know what you want”. Those were not her exact words but the entirety of what she said. These are things we already know…maybe, but because we have not been able to frame them into action words, they don’t guide us.

The core of this post is the woman; her romantic relationships, her as a strong being and the selection of a spouse. However, let me also state that it is not to ward off male readers as there are great insights to decision making to be learned which can be applied to any area of one’s life. The decision making process which I am about to share is the same but sure application is different for individuals. You will agree with me that all decisions require due diligence and careful deliberation whether it is for the woman seeking spousal companionship or the man wanting to buy shares in big conglomerates or the young adult needing to decide which country/school to pursue a professional degree - everyone has to make certain major decisions at some point so this is for you too. It is as much for you my dear readers as it is for me (#lifetimelearner). Last year I started an intentional self-knowledge journey which for me has been the spur of revival of some sort. This piece isn’t about me, so let’s refocus…

I will be drawing a lot of knowledge from conversations I have had with people; a bit of my personal experience; books I have read particularly TD Jakes’ “Before you do”.

Some people are able to face situations headstrong, their senses and heart still intact while some just ram into it and end up losing either of both with regret trailing their shadows. To make any decision there are 3 key things you must understand:

1. Know who you are

2. Know what is important to you

3. Know how you want to exist and proceed in this world

All these is in clarity of the fact that your future is as strong as the decisions that precede it so it is important to have a clear understanding of who you are, not as the world defines you though. Fine there are certain strengths or weaknesses you may not have been able to identify that loved ones will point out to you - all these can help shape up your list but do not let the external general world do that definition for you, it is ultimately up to you. This journey is not one to end in few weeks mind you, considering we may never even get to know everything about ourselves, however, starting now gives you a good mileage. Know thyself. Understand what makes you tick. Know what interests you about life. Know the recreational activities you enjoy, values you would never trade, add all the other specifics and get on that discovery road. A dear friend would say, the journey is as important as the destination – the destination is the decision making point in this context while the journey itself is the self-discovery.

Now that you know yourself a bit, you are faced as a woman with marital decisions. Okay, so you are not at that point yet where suitors are falling at your sexy feet asking for your beautiful hand in marriage but you know it will happen sooner than later, what should you do?
These points will serve as a summary of what I learned reading TD Jakes’ book. He highlighted five crucial components every lady (and man, young adult etc.) must consider before stamping a decision. I call them the 5 Rs, (RESEARCH, ROADWORK, REWARDS, REVELATION & REARVIEW). 

Let's take a quickie look at them Rs

Research means you need to do some work; either mental or leg work, work must be done! I remember my Marketing facilitator always saying to us in class, "get your hands dirty". You need to collect information from reliable sources, collect data. A quick caution though, this should not propel you into digging dirty details on subject matter it just means you should ask the right questions and let whatever answer you get guide you. Truth is you can never know more than you are willing to ask and you will soon find out ample information gives ease to decision making.
Roadwork  involves removing all the obstacles that may hinder your information gathering process and actual understanding of what is at stake.
Rewards is when you list your choices and imagine the consequences that may fall through and this is largely dependent on preset information. Ensure this is done objectively as women tend to be swayed by emotions when weighing options so being completely fair may just be difficult especially if your heart is already in sync with one of your choices.
Revelation - narrow your selection and make your decision. REALITY CHECK------------>You know that when you make your decision, that's it? sefini? No going back? No room for regrets here so deliberately delay that thinking process so you are confident about your final decision. Let them call you names, refer to you as snail-paced or indecisive, proud, cold and all sorts, the ultimate goal is to prevent regrets. Know thyself! Understand what works for you. I like to think of myself as someone who is very meticulous, detailed and cautious so all these reflect in my daily activities and when I mess up, I am equally extremely hard on myself.  
Rearview - After all has been thought out and accepted, look back from time to time, adjust where necessary to stay on course.You will get new information along the way that will enhance your relationship; be open to such but closed to anything that may bring destruction.

Decision to enter a committed relationship should never be taken with levity, it is an important step because when all the mushy-mushy, gogo-gaga feelings wear off as they will always do, what will fuel that relationship? Mutual respect? His ability to cater to your financial needs?? Aging looks??? I don't know. You need to know who you are, who he is, his character, life goals, morals and spiritual beliefs, his idea of fun, emotional stability and the list is endless - you choose what matters to you.I could go on and on but wisdom says nip it here.
ACTION POINT----------->Remember the fact-gathering bit? Get to it now!

Writer's note - This is my first post in the "Woman- her body, soul and spirit" series. I hope you gleaned a thing or two. Feel free to share content with friends and be sure to acknowledge source ;-) I pray the light of God fills your heart and mind as it turns every darkness(uncertainty, confusion, wanderings etc.) into light - Psalm 18:28

Image credit -

Saturday, 24 January 2015

15-for-15 Challenge

First of all introduction...

Na me be Honiilols, in case you didn't know that. Please any lawyer in the house? I need to copyright (abi na patent) that name before anyone gets the idea to steal it. So I entered this competition tagged 15-for-15 Challenge championed by the pretty Miss Janyl Benyl. The lowdown is this; interested bloggers enter competition and pledge to do 15 posts in this year on a particular theme. Pretty easy right? Just 15 you say, oya come and help me think na...

As I write, I haven't even put my theme together but I think I will just focus on the WOMAN; her body, mind, and spirit. Every other month I will write something about her and if inspiration comes to do more posts on other subject matters, I shall be quick to put my creativity to MS word & Wordpad.

So here is me welcoming you again into this amazing year of breaking forth. Invite your family, friends, foes too(if you have any)...let's get this show on the road!

STAY GLUED TO MY PAGE. I AM ABOUT TO BLOW...good blow that is ;-)

Saturday, 17 January 2015

Excuse me sir, you get urine?

Mr Salau would come to class ready to teach and remind us of certain benefits we were missing out on as a result of our deliberate refusal to sip urine...yeah you heard me, U.R.I.N.E!!! My Biology teacher back in ICHS was such a great advocate of the urine therapy and I always wondered if he was a living testimonial but I never garnered the courage to ask. He was a healthy man no doubt, quite active on the tracks and never burning out.

Fast forward 12 years later, I found myself on the same wavelength preaching the exact same to my fellow MBAs in our Management Communication class like I've ever tasted the thing *wrinkling my nose* but trust me I have heard and read so much about this therapy and some amazing health benefits it offers.
A long list of 175 known diseases have been claimed to be knocked off by this simple therapy. In fact, they say that urine therapy might be a remedy for polio, rabies, tuberculosis, AIDS, growths and cancers, fatigue, anemia, all sorts of urinary diseases, for weight-loss(hmmm...I am seriously considering starting this), colds and flu, candida, diabetes, heart disease, digestive problems, prostate trouble, arthritis, glaucoma, rheumatism, cataract, venereal disease, leukemia, malaria, diphtheria, chickenpox, scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, bronchial asthma, orchitis, bright's disease, jaundice, scurvy, dropsy, burns, rashes, warts, bed-wetting, menstruation trouble(guys please inform your girlfriends and wives who experience the bitchy cramps), kidney disease, mucus colitis, pyorrhea, gangrene, etc . A beautiful thing to be aware of for the health conscious pessimists is this, urine therapy advocates claim that to this day, despite the countless number of experiments performed using urine therapy, not a single case has been recorded finding adverse effects.

So what exactly is this urine therapy about? The basic definition of "urine therapy" is using (your own, not your boo's nor child's) urine internally or externally as a way to aid or sustain your heath. Urine therapy, which includes drinking, injecting, massaging with, and/or bathing in. This therapy is actually an ancient practice that is used today, not only in times of sickness, but also in times of good health for preventive health maintenance. You all are probably asking aloud, "how can your own urine benefit your health? Besides, isn't it toxic?"

Scientists say NAY. Our urine isn't toxic to our systems at all. Urine which is 95% water, 2.5% urea, and 2.5% mixture of minerals, salts, hormones, and enzymes, is not a toxic waste product. Urine is a blood byproduct and though it contains some body waste, it is non-toxic. They say the small amount of toxins that are found in urine are not abundant enough to be toxic to the body. When you drink your own urine, it does not go directly to the blood stream. First it goes into the digestive system where its ingredients are sorted out. Then, the useful ingredients are recycled while the toxins are rejected. When the level of toxins becomes too high, the toxins stimulate the intestines into flushing themselves out to eliminate any stagnated excrement accumulated in the colon. Although we could probably filter out the toxins before drinking the urine, the toxins are needed because they stimulate a cleansing reaction in the body. Urine, which remember, is a byproduct of our blood, becomes more purified the more it is recycled. Thus, the cleaner the blood is, the cleaner the urine is, and vice-versa. And this is how urine therapy advocates conclude that urine therapy has a cleansing effect on the blood.

In 1975, a Dr. A.H. Free, published his book Urinalysis in Clinical Laboratory Practice, in which he presents a few critical nutrients found in urine which include Alanine, Creatinine, Calcium, Glucose, Magnesium, Manganese, Zinc, Epinephrine, Biotin, Amino acids, Allanin, just to name a few so I don't bore you with all the scientific details. The occurrence of Epinephrine alone in this mix is good reason for me to start taking my urine, knowing the number of times I have ended up at the hospital for aminophylline (it is a bronchodilator which helps to free up the air passages of the lungs). This hormone i.e epinephrine is used chiefly as a stimulant in cardiac arrest, as a vasoconstrictor in shock, and as a bronchodilator and antispasmodic in bronchial asthma. Epinephrine is found in small amounts in the body and is essential for maintaining cardiovascular homeostasis because of its ability to divert blood to tissues under stress. So imagine being able to prevent all the brouhaha by just sipping something that is completely yours every morning...hehehehe


Just follow these basic rules and you are good to go:

1. Midstream urine should be used, the exception being in a fast where urine is being passed every ten to fifteen minutes. The first flow should always be midstream.

2. Urine should be sipped like tea and not drunk like water. This will prevent excessive problems in the form of loose stools and other elimination processes.

3. The first flow of the day is the most important and the best time of the day to drink it is between three and four a.m..

4. Drink at least one liter of water per day.

5. Pungent and salty food as well as excessive protein should be avoided.

6. Urine passed during the night before three a.m. should not be used.

7. The quantity used is left up to the individual.


1. Prepare the mind by making a resolve to at lease attempt the process and examine your reactions, thoughts and feelings.

2. When you feel mentally prepared to attempt the actual practice,collect some fresh urine and start by rubbing your hands with it. Feel its texture, smell it, and see whether it can actually clean your skin as well as some people claim. After about five minutes wash it off with cold water and feel the skin to see whether the urine has had an effect. Do not use soap after rubbing.

3. The next phase of adjusting the body and mind is to put one drop onto the tongue. Taste and smell play an important part in assessing its nature.

4. Eventually you should build up the quantity you take in until you can drink a full glass of midstream urine and feel neutral in body and mind. Then you will be ready to start more advanced curriculum.

Go ahead, enjoy the natural healthy water you've been blessed with. Ask me in about six months what I did with mine...*winks*

Culled from Vanderbilt University, Psychology department page