Wednesday, 15 October 2014

THe 20s tag!!!

Whoop! Whoop!! Whoop!!! So I got tagged by Miss TLG who is also a blogger and somehow my strategic nose is twitching...I smell an award coming soon. Friends rejoice with me, maybe I should start writing stories full time. Any nay? Yay? *chop knuckle* I see you agree with me. Gracias. Feather kisses.

So this is what I am supposed to do; write 20 random facts about myself and tag 10 bloggers to continue the exercise. You ready for the reveal? Here goes...welcome to my mind & life.

1. As posh as I am, I still find it difficult to squelch my crave for 'dundun' and 'akara'. That's fried yam and bean cake/akara balls (as my former facilitator would say) sold on the roadside. I still bought akara on Sunday before Church. I know. I know. I couldn't even wait to do it in the dark...arrrrrrrgh.

2. I really don't like sharing my bathing soap, the thought alone gives me rashes.

3. Asides from being naturally shy, one of the reasons for my quietness is my fear of speaking and mispronouncing words especially the 'H' thingy. Yeah! Sadly I fall into that category of Yorubas with H-factor Syndrome. *sobs quietly* Please don't force me to use 'H' words. Him vs Inn. Heat vs Eat. Her. Here. Hear. Harp. Hat. Heart. Hack. Heck...whew!

4. I get excited over the littlest of things like a friend sending me 100 naira airtime. It makes me happy to know they care enough. Just weird things excite me.

5. I love looking sexy even though you hardly ever see a pound of flesh out. No cleavage showing. Maybe some flesh above the knee and that's because I do skirts but usually I am all covered. smiles. Someone actually once referred to me as a "sexy conservative".

6. Hmmm...this one is somehow. I like a lot of things. Sometimes I don't understand myself either. I love the thought of riding power bikes; playing the guitar; being a drummer; being a dance instructor; a lecturer; a poet; a stage actor (not the modern day Nollywood actors o. I love stage drama)...well I guess I tend towards an artistic person.

7. I hardly watch TV so please don't ask me about that TV programme. I read books mostly. Books that will edify my spirit, increase my knowledge and improve me basically but before before, tey tey in secondary school, all I read was Mills & Boon. I have sure grown.

8. I have this very solid n superb laptop. HP- Beats by Dre. Great output. Core 15. Intel. Radeon graphics. Windows 7, etcetera. I've had it for two years now and it is still pristine (all my things usually are). Sadly, I doubt I have used up to 10% of its capacity. I watch movies, use MS-word, read blogs, update mine, read and send emails, surf the net and...dasall!

9. I'm not a very friendly person. I don't mean I am rude just that I find it pretty hard to sit, chat and form friendliness. But if I hear you listening to rock song? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I will be the one chasing you for is instant love plus lust rolled together. My bae once said the only times he sees my face light up for real is when I'm listening to rock songs and recently this blog became a 2nd lighter of my face.

10. If you have only my MTN mobile no, then you are my friend. If you have only my Airtel, you are on the fence but if you have both...I love you to pieces.

11. I love my few friends to pieces. I can do anything for them.

12. I have a thing for guys with big eyeballs as I have also noticed Osun State guys have this by default. I really can't explain it. Lord have mercy. I usually end up lusting, I can't lie. *wipes sweat off face* Next random fact please?

13. I am too proud to ask, I am also not too shy to ask for help...go figure!

14. I go for interviews and presentations and people are wowed then they make me wonder if it was really me they heard! I can so dazzle. Then someplace else I am as mute as...*scratches head* what is the most quiet? Then people wonder if I have anything upstairs at all. Chei. How dare they question my intelligence!

15. I love beautiful things. I really do. Animate or inanimate.

16. I have a knack for rearranging so when you are looking for any of your stuff, be sure to ask me.

17. I love eba even though I have been forced to cut down on it. Reason?  Weight ish! I can eat 3-4 days old eba as long as there is no mildew. I'll save my favourite soup for hubby, make no one come put love portion inside soup for me. I can't fit shout.

18. I am very strict. I get called ice-queen. I give the 'eyes' just like my mama taught me. Funny, she used to give me the 'eyes' when I was younger and that was always a call to order to respect myself but that upturned years later when she became the recipient of the icy looks, eyes glaring, eyes rolling from me. She knew not to ask me about bringing home a man especially - my stern looks did the magic and to think she taught me. Hehehehehehe

19. Despite my strictness, I am still very soft and a romantic to the nines. Deep down I am a softie. Just play rock songs to my hearing and you have my heart.

20. I love God. I talk and chat with him everywhere. I make normal conversations with him. He makes me chuckle. He loves colours too, those bright and beautiful ones. Everything I have that are matched were not decided by me. I just realise after accumulating them that they match perfectly and I turn my face upward to heaven and just giggle like a schoolgirl saying, "Lord aren't you the fashionista?

I'm sure you know more about me now than you have in yearssssssss. Let's do this again. I enjoyed every bit. So up next I am nominating these great bloggers who inspire as well as make me laugh everyday...Thelma, Miss Purpleheart , Crazy Nigerian, Eniola, Frank, Olushola, Hollardave,.

So that's how many? 7? hmmmm. All the other bloggers I know have done this already. It aff do. Catch the vibe and get some good laugh while at it beautiful people.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Dr Says...

1. What’s good for the heart is good for the libido 
2. Doing chores with boo ensures a great sexual play 
3. The antioxidant found in tea promotes blood flow all over the body for brainpower

4. blah blah blah
5. more blah blah blah
6. The older we get, the better we should at sex and oral is the mature way to go

“Ahan! I got you right there,” she shrieked excitedly as her cat-like eyes roved the entire piece and settled on the sixth point.

“You and I both; taking over the night with breathless moans…going south baby”. She conversed with space, leaping for joy as her mind went into overdrive strategically planning a sweet welcome for her oyoyo.


Food? Check. Wheat it is today; especially since she made his favourite Egusi soup earlier, seasoned with the assorted sallah beef sent in by grandpa. Going to the market had been a great ordeal what with all the traffic at every point in Lagos as it witnessed a barrage from returning Eid-celebrants. So when Darasimi got a call from her dad fondly referred to as grandpa that he had sent some ram meat over, pure relief enthused as she gladly made a U-turn from the bustling road, hitting the drive gear all the way home whilst singing along to R Kelly’s ‘Sex me’.

Toju was due back any moment now; his office had annoyingly pulled a fast one on them when he was pleaded with at the last minute to come prepare and clean up some office files in readiness for CBN’s inspection which was scheduled for Wednesday- immediately after the Sallah break. Toju’s work involves creating letters of credit for all customers and reconciling offshore accounts. Being a sensitive role, it had to be him and so all the initial weekend plan had gone to waste since he would also have to travel to Calabar in between for some other stuff.

Thank goodness Yemi had offered to keep the kids a day longer…sheer bliss. Isn’t she just awesomely blessed to have such wonderful in-laws? It would afford her all the time she needed to do the ‘R’ stuff with hubby without fear and worry of the little ‘goons’ sneaking up innocently on them.

Romantic setting? Check. The rooms were truly set now; bathroom, living room, dining room…basically all the rooms have a touch of the lavender petals oozing a special aphrodisiac smell. Scented candles well lit. Chardonnay was cooling in the fridge. Strawberry and honey laced ice-cream was her choice dessert. These alone would make any man’s knees weaken. Satisfied with her efforts at creating the perfect sexual alcove, Dara showered quickly changing into her outfit for the evening…a purple crop top showing off her smooth, radiant skin with a matching panties only that the bottom was a shade darker. Her long, elegant legs carefully accentuated with Jimmy Choos’ thigh high boots and of course her apron sexily tied around like a sarong to cover the ‘V’, she was ready to receive, serve and delight.


The key turned in the keyhole a second time alerting Dara to Toju’s arrival even though he had called her on his descent from the Calabar flight at exactly 2.30pm which was thirty minutes ago…the exact time it took to drive from the Lagos airport to their Magodo abode.

“Mushberry I’m home,” he called out his eyes adjusting to the semi-darkness. Toju dropped his bags by the recliner and went in the direction of the glowing light all the while wondering what his wife was up to this time.

“Mushberry?” he called out again

A scantily-sexily clad Dara sat at the foot of the stairwell, her legs spread wide with a smile dancing around her lips.

“Babe you look jaw-dropping fabulous,” he pulled her up for a smattering kiss; his tall frame enveloping her smaller one. “Have you forced the kids to sleep or what? How did you manage to prance around in this without them seeing?” he asked as his eyes took in every bit of her luscious body. He was feeling all ravenous all of a sudden.

“No jor,” she chuckled loudly “the ferry mother carted them away so it’s just you and me,” her fingers trailed his pointed nose.

“I didn’t want to give away my plans so I avoided mentioning they were still with your sister”. Dara rose on tiptoes and kissed her husband hotly on the ears whispering, “This evening is for adults only, no underage allowed”.

“Hmmm. So how do we begin this my beautiful, erotic wife?” “A quick shower or...” he left the words hanging.

“A very very quick shower sweets while I pour out some wine for you” Dara sent him off with a gentle swat on his bum.

Whistling and pulling on his tie as he took two steps at a time, Toju showered in five not even trying to keep the hormones down. Hard to believe his wife of 17 years who just turned 43 and he, approaching his 49th still thump this hard like school children crushing in love.

He exited the shower into the waiting arms of his damsel; wine in hand, apron gone, her ‘V’ in his full glare and all he could think about was downing the wine there and taking a hungry lick.

Darasimi seeing the emotions flicker across his face shook her head, “No. No. No. No. It’s my turn sweets…I’m going all the way”. She pushed Toju on the chair just by the bed and made him gulp some wine.

“I just knew we bought this chair for good reasons sweets,” 

Going south with her mouth, Darasimi started off very easily and gently watching his every expression as she did so. She knew where it tickled her oyoyo and she wasn’t afraid to try, anything to keep him in her coffers. Having read so much on the art of testicular-pleasuring, she put her tongue and fingers to great work wanting nothing else than to see her man squirm in pure ecstasy. Having carefully cut her nails, she made a gentle push on his perineum to intensify his orgasm. She remembered all she read about ‘Deep Throat’. Only that came to mind now, even though she mentally plans to try The Hoover; Peppermint Stick; Butterfly Flicks and Love Nibs later. Using all four fingers to hold him, she removed one finger to let go down a little further letting her mouth adjust to a deeper penetration. Because she stuck out her tongue before taking him in, she realized she could take more and caressed him with the back of her throat, adding some flavor at intermittent with the use of a lube. From the obvious shakes Dara realized even hubby couldn’t take it anymore at this point.

“Oh Dara, nibo lo ti ko e ni eleyi simi?” he bemoaned in his favourite Yoruba Language adding a bit of her name.

“The power of internet sweets and this is just round one love, we shall soon proceed to the bath tub…a long evening awaits us”.
Writer’s note – I hope no one is expecting a second part, please don’t. End of story. No more. I know lots of my readers are unmarried like me; so let’s save the imaginations till later.

Photo credit goes to… I really don’t know who to credit this picture to. I actually saw it, loved it and saved it. So whoever you are, wherever you are, thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of art (I found the image owner...many thanks to Peniel Enchill, you rock ma'am).

"nibo lo ti ko e ni eleyi simi" literally translates to "where did they teach you this to do to me"

In case you are also wondering how I came up with this…erm *scratches head*plenty reading o. I actually stumbled upon this Christian site a couple of months ago for married women. Its aim is to spice up the sex life of Christian married women. You know how we act now when it comes to pleasing our husbands in that regard, well I hope to use some titbits  when I finally get married. If you desire to be like me please find link HERE

PS - All activities described are for married couples o *lips sealed*