Posted by Lola on Friday, June 27, 2014 in Memoirs of Honiilols, non-fiction, Worth Blogging Experience | 9 comments
The usual practice for me is getting into a chitchat mode every time I am alone in a cab...(yes you guessed right!). Reason for my chitchat is so I can come off as nice to the driver with the hopes of squelching any bad moves on his part - *hehehehehe*I am not being negative here. I just learnt a very long time ago to always LOOK FOR A WAY OUT! Be it in a bus,car,boat...be sure to sit close to the quickest escape. So back to my story...
The driver and I started chatting, all in the bid to make him relax and laugh with me - as I have also come to learn from practice that this doesn't always work out best because some people will take advantage of your niceness! We talked about everything, from how lucky he was getting a passenger all the way from Sangotedo (somewhere after Lekki-Ajah), which is very rare as most people take cabs from Ajah or they don't at all, (sorry Ajah folks, I know you are posh). The smart driver trying to make me feel his cab charge was justified said he would have picked up someone along the way...that confidence (or was it tactics?) told me he must have whole-hardheartedly said his prayers before the start of work that morning.
As we approached my destination now, knowing I was somewhat safer from that distance, I decided to keep quiet and fiddle with my phone...catch up on all the 'dp updates', gossips and instagram updates that I missed out on.
Swipe. Swipe. Swipe...more news
Next thing the guy chuckled loudly beside me and turned to me saying:
Driver- "Sorry o sister, I'm just curious o. Would you as a graduate marry someone wey no be graduate?"
Of course, he wasn't referring to himself and I...get your mind out of the stinking gutter!
But I had that perplexed look for a split second wondering what he was up to o. If he was genuinely asking me for my thoughts or if he wanted to link the discussion to ehrm....'us'.
Me - "It depends o oga. Is it that the person no go school at all or him never finish school?"
This question has been asked severally in clear terms and sometimes not so clear terms inferred from the 'caliber of people' who come your way asking for your hand in marriage and I daresay logic rules passion too many times.Truth is a lot of us wouldn't dare get hooked to such a person, either as ladies or men. I mean when you have people; family & friends holding the glass of scrutiny, checking out everything about you. Your partner must pass mustard! I have to hand it to some men though, for them it seems love supersedes all.
Does love supersede all for you? Can you marry a non-graduate just as the driver asked me! Please share your thoughts...
Love has nothing to do with education, i can and will marry someone who is not a graduate cos you can make her what she wants to be and what you wanna see... Education should be the least thing.....
ReplyDeleteIncredible how u bring reality to your writing
This actually brought to mind an experience I had back in the university. I dated someone who was a year ahead of me but somehow he left the school for another and had to start all over again. As fate would have it, when I was in my final year he was in his first which became a really serious issue as he could not stand what people would say to the changed 'educational status'. Believe me dear, it doesn't always work that way. A lot was at stake for him as a man and despite all the love, we fell apart. As much as it may sound vain using one's educational status as a yardstick for marriage, it is real and if one truly goes ahead with such a person...it would be a secret kept!
DeleteThis guy always makes so much sense with his comments. I mean wow...
DeleteAs for me, why not? There's no biggie to it as long as the person is teachable and wont act like the victim. I have seen men grown when with me because i influence others, i like to make an impact in people's lives. Now, im married and just have my NCE certificate, hoping for more but not limited. I'm married to a graduate who learns more from me cuz school isn't everything. Educated people can be annoying sef but i think it's all about the person. Seunabass
ReplyDeleteIt is easy to say...ah ahn! Why not? But if you really look at it; how would life pan out? You hold an MSc, he's just a school cert holder. Will you endure the scrutiny/disapproval your family will put up. Will you hold up your head high when your embittered ex that you dumped understands the fact your present boyfriend is semi-literate. We all know the labour market isnt exactly smiling. There isnt enough room for university graduates, let alone graduates of other institutions. Unless your man can hold is own, has a very good business he is running et al, how will you deal with a man who can barely earn enough to make ends meet?
ReplyDeleteThese are some pressing questions that come off the top of my head. If a woman is willing to weather all the storm and still get hitched to an "uneducated man",
Then the guy has got to be a KEEPER!!
:-)
Let me remind you that some men are un educated but they are doing well in their handiwork and they love unconditionally compared to those educated "I must get a job" guys. My opinion- if the person is teachable and won't see him/herself as a victim, yes! My family doesn't discriminate. We last in God not by education as education discriminates but God doesn't. I prefer a man who loves me to he that loves his books. If a man discriminates based on education, I'm glad he dint marry me o cuz we all have reasons for not getting education as if Naija education is worth it. I don't wanto go into the fact that people have the certificates but can't defend it.
ReplyDeleteAn uneducated millionaire makes it easier?....just thinking....
ReplyDeleteOh...Lola...I remember that guy...
How many lasts in paid employment these days? Handiwork is seeing more graduates. What does education teach you? It's all about your attitude and if you don't have the right one, life will toss you about. Education doesn't make you fulfilled neither does it make you happy except if you got life all wrong cuz education won't keep you warm in dark, cold lonely nights- a partner will. Life isn't all about education, if it were, Nigeria would have been a better place. People will talk but standing your ground will earn you their respect. Give me an uneducated man with a positive attitude not a graduate with a mind to fraud.
ReplyDeleteI for one believe that regardless of the Cliche that ""Love is blind, deaf and dumb"" we all have to face the reality of ""Till death do us part.."" i mean can we really cope with the social unbalance meted at non graduates? Or the varying mood swing due to one of the parties feeling slighted? i wish i could say i could date someone who hasn't gone to the university, but that would be like me saying I love condoms, fashion, water, cream and indian moviess.. It would just be a lie. I think its important that there be a balance in marriage, and that involves both parties being at an almost an equal level of inteligence so they can have knowledgeable discussions, and no one will have his or her self esteem bruised by a mere prank or joke.. Oh well, **In T-Notes voice... To all man his own i guess. Cheers Bubba.
ReplyDelete