Wednesday, 31 December 2014

...and so it ends


Has it really?

There is so much excitement about the changing dates, fleeting excitement for some, profound and lingering for others maybe. Tonight we make the joyful sounds; inundated with joys of others and the next minute we back to reality, reminded of the realness of the world we live in. Reminded of the dreams that never materialized. We feel once again that gnawing sense of tension and anxiety, reminded of the tragic turns and twists we've had to deal with while our hopes still never came to fruition! We are reminded of the many nights we've had to pace and mutter under our breath, praying for one single miracle that our situation may change; that we may be better appreciated by a mean boss; loved by a special one; that our wombs may carry to full term that fertilized embryo we were so happy about and rejoiced over a couple of weeks or months ago; that our hard earned monies be spent on better things rather than the numerous trips to the hospital and pharmacy to buy nameless drugs...some cosmic power not even turning us back at it's lobby. Before long we are reminded of all these unfulfilled dreams...but! hold up a bit. Wait right there before you fall back into that stinking, putrid, malodorous pit of self pity and hopelessness. *Eeeeewwwhhh* Remember Joseph in the Bible? You know him? Yeah, that dreamer boy. You gerrit. His was one of the first stories I enjoyed in primary school in my BK (Bible Knowledge) class. Truth be told, I never understood it a bit only knew he was sold into slavery and his brothers came begging for food at some point in their moment of severe hunger.

Today I read that story again. I actually read it and felt it and understood it. You see, Joseph had a dream, even though his was in a spiritual realm not like the mental dreams we create of aspirations and hopes of things to come. Joseph had a dream. Himself with his other half-brothers were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly his own sheaf rose and stood upright, while those of his brothers gathered around his and BOWED to it! Oh boy! What a powerful dream and he told his brothers! The young lad didn't stop at revealing that one dream, he went further to reveal a second of the sun, moon and the eleven stars bowing to him. Amazing naivety! There is so much to be learned about who we trust to share our dreams with but I also live with an understanding that things unfold as planned by the ever creative God. His telling fell under the grand scheme of things. So Joseph in all his innocence shared these dreams with brothers who already hated him and somehow ended up intensifying the bitterness they had against him. What happened thereafter? He was sold into slavery for a paltry amount, you guessed right!

Several chapters later after the dream was divulged in Genesis 37, the Bible also made such an astounding record. See this, "Now Joseph was the GOVERNOR of the land, the person who sold grain to ALL its people. So when Joseph's BROTHERS ARRIVED, THEY BOWED down to him with their faces to the ground". *I am really stifling my screams as I type this* Marvelous! I just had to emphasize those words. Do you know how long it took for this dream to come to pass? After years of trial and hardship. I know we all wonder why God allows evil to happen and why the promises won't just fall into our laps, truthfully, I wonder too but this year I have learned to completely trust God not because of what He has done or not done but because of the tremendous power He wields. He can do all things. The way the devil torments me of my age and my singleness is the way God reminds me of His awesome power and He constantly reminds me of how much He loves me, even better. Today, I had to go from Omole to Yaba for the weekend and was on the road lugging bags when a car stopped for me in the estate. He was going farther than I alright but he had an option of taking the 3rd mainland bridge in order to avoid the many potholes on Ikorodu road but guess what he did, he opted to take that same Ikorodu road and dropped me exactly where I was going. In all this, the only thing that rang in my mind was a voice telling me, "Oyinlola, I've got your back because I love you". I smiled. I laughed. I hugged God in my spirit. I wasn't expecting a free ride and that's what usually happens. Let God surprise you, He thrives in daunting projects. He sure cares and would make things happen.

All those promises, those dreams, those hopes will come to pass. That's all I am trying to say to you dearie and to myself too. As you rejoice today please never let that joy be truncated. Keep rejoicing everyday knowing you have a Heavenly Father that cares silly about you. So it doesn't matter how long the hope has been festering in your heart, keep the dreams alive. We all suffer from unfulfilled longings but remember Joseph's story when you are tempted to think that faith is nothing but a childish fantasy. Don't let your faith die with 2014. That will be the greatest disservice you ever do yourself.

I pray that God gives us grace to hold on to our dreams as He strengthens us to live them out in the power of His Spirit.

Have a beautiful 2015 friends and thanks for being a great part of my 2014. Mindplosive and I would never have been the same without you. For your encouragement, comments, stories, inviting friends to come read too, for increasing good traffic on my page, I say a big thank you and to all who secretly urge me on...

Go dazzle lovelies! e-hugs


CHRistMAS to Me...

Christmas to me, was…

A trip to ijaiye; a very small town in that rocky city called Abeokuta

My frame forced into the tiny space in that most favoured spot by the window of da’s metallic blue Peugeot 504

My chubby face glued to the “winscreem” as we called it

Watching the lush greenery as they blended and melded with the large expanse of sparse land

Marveling at the old houses washed in the natural redness of earth’s colour

Christmas to me, was…

The “ankos” we got to wear and the many bottles of tango drink
 

'T was the numerous plates of burnt jollof rice not even the sound of exploding bangers at eventide

Christmas to me was…

Taking and taking from family plus cousins, even the unloved uncles I would pally up with for the moment just to get crispy N5 notes

That was Christmas to me (chuckles) and now?

Christmas to me is…

Giving and sharing

Singing. Reflecting and appreciating the most beautiful gift of Salvation


That God from His throne would send His only begotten son to die for you and I for the ransom of our souls

It’s the gladness of the season with all the warmth it brings…

Beautiful isn't it?


What is Christmas to you?

I hope like me it holds a new meaning of Joy

Joooooooooooooooooooooooooy

"Joy to the World", the carollers sang out

as last minute shoppers scurried about

desperately seeking that one special gift

that would give Christmas morning a magical lift.

As an old man stood standing listening to the song,

midst all the madness of the bustling throng,

in a shaky hoarse voice he began to join in

singing the words of the famous old hymn.

One by one people stopped with their madness

to join with the old man for a moment of gladness.

By the time the carollers finished with singing the song

the whole throng was united as they all sang along.

As if by magic from out of the sky

church bells rang out from a chapel nearby.

And when it was over the people greeted each other

with messages of good will they shared with one another.

You see that magical lift the shoppers sought for so long

was not in the buying or scurrying along.

That magical gift so desperately sought

was the Spirit of Christmas - which could never be bought.



Writer's note - A very late post on what Christmas is to me, better late than never you reckon? Poem in italics is as written by Tom Krause

Image Credit - Google images

Friday, 19 December 2014

Let's Talk About Love


I know, I know. This subject commands a lot of attention, provokes a lot of controversy. Our views to it are as different as our faces.

I must confess I am no expert on love matters *I so wish I was though*. Frankly speaking, I don’t think any one person is (due respect to all the self proclaimed love specialist out there). For you see, their tips work for those who believe. That is so with every other thing in life. I always marvel at how some things materialize after a firm believer’s belief. My expressions in this piece are strictly my opinion; they may or may not tally with yours..but just hear me out and try to reason in concert. I may be right, but then I may also be wrong...

Love is a very relative term. We see it differently. We express it differently. It is essentially what we (me or you) call it. 


So,

I have heard people say, in defense of love or to profess love;

# If he doesn't beat you then he doesn't love you

# there is no true love without jealousy

# If he loves you he will marry you

# If he loves you he will do anything you say

# I love her, I just can’t be with one woman

# I love him, just don’t wanna put all my eggs in one basket

# I cannot love a man I cannot look up to

# I can’t love a woman who doesn't know that she is a woman

Friday, 12 December 2014

I AM...Jason Mraz




I's no secret I love heavy metals. Soft too. I just enjoy the guitar strumming buzzing loudly in my ears. I can keep to myself for weeks and this is all I'm listening too. Good rock. Superb lyrics, soulful; expressing my emotions as it is. Raw, undiluted, sincere. 
Today, I choose to sail, walk, run, sit, cook, sleep and do everything else with JM as I have been doing for days. #thatgagafeeling

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky

Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul? 


Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up 


And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find 


'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up 


I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am 


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, still looking up. 


Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it) 


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up




Friday, 5 December 2014

My New Found love(s)

I'm in love.

God knows I tried not to get so attached but hey, what can a girl do especially one who loves beautiful things like yours dearest? How did I get to this point you ask me?

So last week(now about two weeks as this post ought to have been published since last week but my beautiful phone crashed and I lost the pictures*crying*), I rummaged my wardrobe for something to wear (I usually leave that decision till morning of d-day never prior, except on Sunday nights when I have a clear idea of what I will be wearing on Monday...the usual "Together we win" T-shirt). So I went on a testing spree trying different dresses. I love jackets by the way. I eventually settled on this rarely-worn black dress and needed an accessory to complement my look basically because I didn't wanna appear all black...another search that took me some precious 10 minutes but it was worth the while eventually as this was the look I got...

Day 2
I thought to wear my yellow dress and matched it with the very same neck piece...my newest found love *hehehehe* and it worked perfectly. Just a very very simple, inexpensive, unique looking piece o that had been in my jewellery box for monthssssssssss on end, unused and unloved. This would take me to another talk but I will try not to deviate too much, it goes to show that sometimes we are just blind to the people around us who look granted, maybe a lil rusty on the outside but we completely ignore them because we fail to peel the dusty exterior in order to catch a glimpse of the beautiful interior. Try a lil dusting and you may just find yourself loving that young man or young lady more than any other terribly attractive being around you. I have come to learn that the people we finally get hooked to are those who have been steady somewhat in our lives; neighbours we probably ignore; friends of friends whom we never say beyond "hello" to; Church members we run away from seconds after Sunday service; just name them. Okay enough, bottom line is SEE rather than just LOOK.




(Sorry no image of me in that sexy, bright-colored yellow dress as it got lost in the crash)

Day 3
I found a new love yet again in the name of this pinkish boyfriend jacket. Funny thing is, I had this dumped somewhere because I felt it was too small for me but I picked it up that very day and it did me wonders. So I had a very pink-weekend.

Saturday morning doing what I love to do best in Church...reciting a poem

Saturday evening doing my boss' bidding as the representative of my unit by ensuring my company got proper leverage in the media on this event it co-sponsored. It was a gathering of the Indian community at TBS and I had an awemazing time watching quite elderly excited people prance around, celebrating their Diwali (delayed celebration in Nigeria by the way as a result of the ebola scare then).

So I capped the weekend with my pink jacket and neck-piece, yet again, for Sunday Service.

For five days, I had that eureka feeling you get when you finally find something in your wardrobe that matches almost everything else...

Check out these lil extras *winks*
I wonder where my hand was going!!!



P.S: I need a photographer ASAP please. I could not do justice to a lot of the pictures. Interested candidates should apply in person o.

P.P.S like my blogger friend Duru Adolphus of YGnC would add: I just had to include this picture of me eating my favorite akara *covers face* 


I lost that too...my bad!

Sunday, 23 November 2014

Turning Tables...



"Babe, you are home early. Wetin happen, no weekend rendezvous with Romeo?" Derin asked, her face partly turned towards the back door that ushered in a weary-looking Kofo.

Was her voice slightly tinged with sarcasm? I hope not was Kofo's thought as she formed a passable response but somehow ended up blurting the truth as it were..."No. Nowhere romantic today. It is not my turn".

"Turn? What do you mean by turn? Is he...is he marrieeeeeeeeed?" Derin careened to her full height, hands placed gingerly over her mouth. The thought of that innocent and mature looking, calm dude having an affair beats her. She cautioned her heart from racing faster than the normal 70bpm as she waited for her roomie and friend of 3-years to spill it all.

"No he is not. I thought I told you that before!" tears plus anger building

"Yes, you did that's why I am slightly confused as to the 'turn-thing'. It is possible he lied to you, maybe, and you just found out the truth. So what exactly is it?" Derin pressed further

It's not my turn. That's crystal enough. What's confusing in that? This weekend is for another girl, simple. Maybe it's Funmi's turn or  Bola, or whoever else I've heard him mention, I don't know." She boomed, her anger rising again.

**********************************

Growing up I used to wonder how men could comfortably love more than one woman, profess all the undying love and make themselves available at every important occasion in each one's life. You see I know what it means to do 'the rotation'; one week with Mrs A, another week with Mrs B and if there is a Mrs C or even Mrs D, extra weeks are apportioned to them which implies a wife may not see her husband in close to a month.
I know what it means to want to see someone you love badly because you have juicy news, even gossips to share and you try to bottle up that excitement till it is your turn to see him...I know what it means to have to pray and hope that the week would end real quickly, that your turn can come so and you offer the same prayers, though differently this time because you need your own week to be longer. *Hehehehehe*...same way I know somehow you have to veil your thoughts from affecting your feelings because you sometimes wonder if he holds the other woman that way or it is just a special expression between you too.

I so know what it means, maybe not as the wife but as the true daughter of the wife who longs and hopes as she sits by the window every night never knowing someone else sees her tears...that sharp iciness you hear in her voice is a failed attempt to conceal her raging jealousy. Sometimes she wonders why it isn't just her he is loving and warming up to, the only woman who cooks his meals...

But then they are married and that fate is somehow sealed.

So it's funny when I hear of single ladies who are actually aware of their 'male friends' being involved with other ladies. Scratch that, like I am not one of them? I know what it feels like to be that other lady; the one in the kitchen doing all the toiling because his ma wants me to make my fish pepper soup specialty while he chats away with his lady love but somehow in the innermost part of my core I have high hopes that my domesticity will thaw his heart. I know what it means to be other lady who is shunned for weeks on end when they are in their love nest, necking and cuddling yet his phone is on and still never seem to connect...I so know what it means to have so much to say but there is just not that one person when you truly need him to listen and just listen, to feel the intensity of your excitement.

Yes, I know.

It is funny how we as ladies have caged ourselves in certain relationships be it friends with benefits (talk for another day), or live-in lovers, or boyfriends or potential husbands who have several other ladies they are 'sampling' according to them. (Sampling by the way doesn't have to entail sexual intimacy, emotional attachment for me is the highest form of intimacy to be shared with any man. That kills faster than anything physical).

The norm has made me forget what is right or wrong. They tell me it is impossible to meet a man who wouldn't have one or two others he is 'dating' and would at some point weigh to decide whom to eventually marry. When did we become objects needing to be weighed? I have seen soooooooo many really smart and beautiful ladies get tangled in this sort of web. They talk about the proportion of men to women and the embarrassingly large number of singles needing to get hitched on a man. They talk about strategies to distinguish themselves; do all the 'yes-yes' just to be in his good books; pray and sometimes in over-bloated selfishness wish the other ladies ill just so they can drop out of his 'heart commitment-race'. We keep ourselves in unpleasant conditions like we are trying to compensate for something...height? Weight? What exactly, pray tell! You think you are too fat and you would never find anyone who would be completely yours alone???? (I don't know why I chose to focus on physical appearance but it sure goes beyond that).

I wonder, for how long shall you wait till it's your turn? Two weeks? Two months? Six months??? For how long shall you strategically plan and all you ever do is to devise wicked schemes of how to annihilate another? For how long shall you pray and all you ever utter are curses and venom-filled words seeking the downfall of your perceived rival? From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. These things should not be so, definitely not so! Read James 3...


Personally, I don't have the capacity to compete with other women for his affection no more.What you see is what you get. I too was pitiful at that younger age when I had no understanding and awareness of the immense deposits of God in my life. When I had no understanding of the plans of the Father for me. No self-actualization. No clear road map of what I wanted. Now I am armed with a clear identity of who God says I am and I refuse to be a part of that turning table game. It will always be my turn...no pause, no halt. 





Image Credit : RF Cafe videos

Friday, 7 November 2014

Reminded...of circles and lines


I checked my wristwatch for the umpteenth time waiting for the long hand to settle on the exact hour; not that the Finance class was boring...never! Especially since it was Dr Kayode himself, the guy just had a way of mesmerizing and regaling us with his enchanting tales of world events and his lil baby that never lets him sleep at night.Papa has got to rock too...

1.00pm
And it finally struck. Then it was time for lunch. It's shocking how I get excited about food and I end up eating very little! Off I went to the school cafeteria, quick to join the short queue before it became a nightmare I wouldn't be willing to face; my eyes dancing around the options all the while and wondering in my head what to settle for. Beans porrigde. Just a portion would do and one protein...ahhhh! Sensational. What a sweet life. That was just N300. All thanks to the subsidy else I would have gone bankrupt in my 18 months duration at Business School.

"Oyinlola, you sure that will be enough or you are just shy because I am behind you?"

"This will do sir," I replied my MBA Director who was obviously shocked at the size of my food like he was thinking in his head for me..."you mean you rushed all the way to beat the crowd for this palsy meal?"

Hehehehehe, I am a student after all. I shall cut my coat according to my size.Thank you sir.

So I shrugged, with my smile in place and headed to one of those corners to eat my protein-rich meal in peace. 

1.45pm
Back in class for the Final session on Fin11 that Thursday afternoon. Kayode's voice crooned. I can't remember exactly what it was we were discussing, if I take the pain to search my note now I will find it but I am feeling too lazy to...so we shall proceed.

About thirty minutes to the end of the class, my phone buzzed. Of course as a rule our phones are always on "SILENT MODE," but somehow that day was just one of the very few times I flunked any of the school's rules. My phone was not on silent but on VIBRATE. So it kept vibrating against my skin like the hands of  a lover kneading and tugging. I took my eyes off the facilitator to find out the disruptor of my concentration and it turned out to be my younger sister...one of them anyways. Then almost immediately dad's call came in too. 

And like the worrywart I am, I wondered what the issue was.

"They would all have to wait," I thought aloud.

Then the phone rang again, then again, and yet again. I picked up the thing and decided to send a text before the poor phone suffers temporal shutdown. 

"I'm in class sis, what's up?"

Pim.Pim.

"Mom fainted, we have rushed her to general hospital".

Like seriously, I wasn't f******* expecting that. Few minutes to the end of class but my heart was racing already. Muttered in tongues under my breath and waited till the stroke of 3!

Of course I was worried already, you can tell when something is wrong with me by the flutter of emotions across my face. I turned to Damilare; a colleague in class and bought airtime off her as I made a dash for the jetty where I could hop a ferry home to Ikorodu from Lekki. My ever loving flatmate and sis was quick to drop me at the jetty with a big hug and wonderful reassuring smile that everything would be alright.

At the jetty I waited, called home to keep abreast of things. Mama was still in a coma was the response. I didn't stop praying. People bustled in through the open door and in no time the boat had full capacity. Ready to sail. Sailing.

Beep. Beep. My phone rang again and as expected it was from home.

"Aunty Amuda, mummy ti ku," my sister cried out on the phone.

On top water, I got the shocking, never expected in the next 40-years, never anticipated kind of news
On top water your face flashed a million and one times per second
I crumbled to my feet in the boat...on top water, in the middle of the seas and the only thing that came to my mind was "Lord let it not be"...

Strong me. Not so strong no more. Before a thousand faces I shrieked. Unknown faces. Strangers. They held me down. How i writhed. Oh how I shook! Then senses came. We were on top water and I just couldn't risk the lives of other people. And so I stared and stared into nothing really. Numb me. I couldn't even bring my thoughts together. It was all a lie. 


Jumped on a bike from the opposite end jetty to General Hospital...it seemed like forever ride. Lasted 20 minutes or so. Then I got to you. Eyes clear now. I'm the eldest, I can't cry before my younger ones now, can I?

I took my first look at you in two months. You were just like a baby. Staying so still like a gentle baby. My mama who loves to chat nonstop...her lips weren't even moving. She bursts forth into smiles and prayer every time she sees me, her eyes weren't even opening.

"Iya Amuda, this was not how we planned it o," my aunt cried. 

I held your hands and looked for every sign of life.

Confirmed dead, they said and off we went with you to the house you walked out of on your own that morning to pay a courtesy visit to my immediate younger sister and her hubby. But we then took a detour, took you to your husband's house all the way to Sagamu. I held your head in my hands. We sat together like there was nothing wrong even though you had the cottons in your nostril. I rested my head on your shoulder. I sang and prayed. Lost and never knowing what to pray.

We arrived in Sagamu late night. Everyone was waiting to receive your corpse! AHHHHH
They carried you. Four big, burly men! You sure had packed some weight in those few hours. Everyone gathered. I knew their thoughts but I won't dwell on them. When was the last time we visited Sagamu and slept in that room??? And we come back in tears?

I stayed with you still praying. Hoping. Praying. They thought i was mad. My dad wouldn't hear of it, having only me in the darkness at that late hour by your side. I sat staring at you. Like seriously, you were gone?

The hours flew by. No food. Kilonjebe (what is that!). No sleep. We kept vigil. Morning came and they said to begin the rites. More people have gathered. All the wives that have gone teytey (long ago) too. Then It was time to clean you up; I got called as the eldest concern. How I withstood those minutes without breaking down still alarm me. I held you very carefully as I bathe you. Dolapo and I. We dressed you up too and made you look real pretty. Of course you were always pretty, even death couldn't snatch that.

Then the time came to lower you in the ground. That was all I could take...

...it is all I can take now as I remember mom

All the tears that have welled up
The ones I have secretly shed in the confines of my space
I let lose and cry unashamedly 
oh how I weep and wail
Energy spent
Nose running
Voice croaky
I do miss you. I loved calling you...08023005656
Let me be a child again
I'll be even a better girl
Never stressing, never giving headaches
Why didn't you let me buy that fresh fish and bring to you?
No one is offering to make 'agbo'(Herbal concoction)  for me no more
What's gonna happen to our coconut rice special?
Who will give my hands out when I want to marry?
I don't even know Eko Idumota mom, you were supposed to do all the runnings around. You know that place like the back of your hands.
And now that I have some money of my own, who am I supposed to spend them on????

Iya Amuda...today isn't particular different because it's a year since you passed; I actually think of you everyday. I dream of you everyday to be precise, is that normal? And not once are you dead in my dreams...not once

I hope the Angels are praying, blessing and rendering praises with another angel as you amidst them? It's the only hope I have.

SUN RE O(Sleep well) FOLAKE OLUWATOYIN

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

THe 20s tag!!!

Whoop! Whoop!! Whoop!!! So I got tagged by Miss TLG who is also a blogger and somehow my strategic nose is twitching...I smell an award coming soon. Friends rejoice with me, maybe I should start writing stories full time. Any nay? Yay? *chop knuckle* I see you agree with me. Gracias. Feather kisses.

So this is what I am supposed to do; write 20 random facts about myself and tag 10 bloggers to continue the exercise. You ready for the reveal? Here goes...welcome to my mind & life.



1. As posh as I am, I still find it difficult to squelch my crave for 'dundun' and 'akara'. That's fried yam and bean cake/akara balls (as my former facilitator would say) sold on the roadside. I still bought akara on Sunday before Church. I know. I know. I couldn't even wait to do it in the dark...arrrrrrrgh.

2. I really don't like sharing my bathing soap, the thought alone gives me rashes.

3. Asides from being naturally shy, one of the reasons for my quietness is my fear of speaking and mispronouncing words especially the 'H' thingy. Yeah! Sadly I fall into that category of Yorubas with H-factor Syndrome. *sobs quietly* Please don't force me to use 'H' words. Him vs Inn. Heat vs Eat. Her. Here. Hear. Harp. Hat. Heart. Hack. Heck...whew!

4. I get excited over the littlest of things like a friend sending me 100 naira airtime. It makes me happy to know they care enough. Just weird things excite me.

5. I love looking sexy even though you hardly ever see a pound of flesh out. No cleavage showing. Maybe some flesh above the knee and that's because I do skirts but usually I am all covered. smiles. Someone actually once referred to me as a "sexy conservative".

6. Hmmm...this one is somehow. I like a lot of things. Sometimes I don't understand myself either. I love the thought of riding power bikes; playing the guitar; being a drummer; being a dance instructor; a lecturer; a poet; a stage actor (not the modern day Nollywood actors o. I love stage drama)...well I guess I tend towards an artistic person.

7. I hardly watch TV so please don't ask me about that TV programme. I read books mostly. Books that will edify my spirit, increase my knowledge and improve me basically but before before, tey tey in secondary school, all I read was Mills & Boon. I have sure grown.

8. I have this very solid n superb laptop. HP- Beats by Dre. Great output. Core 15. Intel. Radeon graphics. Windows 7, etcetera. I've had it for two years now and it is still pristine (all my things usually are). Sadly, I doubt I have used up to 10% of its capacity. I watch movies, use MS-word, read blogs, update mine, read and send emails, surf the net and...dasall!

9. I'm not a very friendly person. I don't mean I am rude just that I find it pretty hard to sit, chat and form friendliness. But if I hear you listening to rock song? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I will be the one chasing you for friendship...it is instant love plus lust rolled together. My bae once said the only times he sees my face light up for real is when I'm listening to rock songs and recently this blog became a 2nd lighter of my face.

10. If you have only my MTN mobile no, then you are my friend. If you have only my Airtel, you are on the fence but if you have both...I love you to pieces.

11. I love my few friends to pieces. I can do anything for them.

12. I have a thing for guys with big eyeballs as I have also noticed Osun State guys have this by default. I really can't explain it. Lord have mercy. I usually end up lusting, I can't lie. *wipes sweat off face* Next random fact please?

13. I am too proud to ask, I am also not too shy to ask for help...go figure!

14. I go for interviews and presentations and people are wowed then they make me wonder if it was really me they heard! I can so dazzle. Then someplace else I am as mute as...*scratches head* what is the most quiet? Then people wonder if I have anything upstairs at all. Chei. How dare they question my intelligence!

15. I love beautiful things. I really do. Animate or inanimate.

16. I have a knack for rearranging so when you are looking for any of your stuff, be sure to ask me.

17. I love eba even though I have been forced to cut down on it. Reason?  Weight ish! I can eat 3-4 days old eba as long as there is no mildew. I'll save my favourite soup for hubby, make no one come put love portion inside soup for me. I can't fit shout.

18. I am very strict. I get called ice-queen. I give the 'eyes' just like my mama taught me. Funny, she used to give me the 'eyes' when I was younger and that was always a call to order to respect myself but that upturned years later when she became the recipient of the icy looks, eyes glaring, eyes rolling from me. She knew not to ask me about bringing home a man especially - my stern looks did the magic and to think she taught me. Hehehehehehe

19. Despite my strictness, I am still very soft and a romantic to the nines. Deep down I am a softie. Just play rock songs to my hearing and you have my heart.

20. I love God. I talk and chat with him everywhere. I make normal conversations with him. He makes me chuckle. He loves colours too, those bright and beautiful ones. Everything I have that are matched were not decided by me. I just realise after accumulating them that they match perfectly and I turn my face upward to heaven and just giggle like a schoolgirl saying, "Lord aren't you the fashionista?

*************
I'm sure you know more about me now than you have in yearssssssss. Let's do this again. I enjoyed every bit. So up next I am nominating these great bloggers who inspire as well as make me laugh everyday...Thelma, Miss Purpleheart , Crazy Nigerian, Eniola, Frank, Olushola, Hollardave,.

So that's how many? 7? hmmmm. All the other bloggers I know have done this already. It aff do. Catch the vibe and get some good laugh while at it beautiful people.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Dr Says...

1. What’s good for the heart is good for the libido 
2. Doing chores with boo ensures a great sexual play 
3. The antioxidant found in tea promotes blood flow all over the body for brainpower

4. blah blah blah
5. more blah blah blah
6. The older we get, the better we should at sex and oral is the mature way to go
 

“Ahan! I got you right there,” she shrieked excitedly as her cat-like eyes roved the entire piece and settled on the sixth point.

“You and I both; taking over the night with breathless moans…going south baby”. She conversed with space, leaping for joy as her mind went into overdrive strategically planning a sweet welcome for her oyoyo.

******************* 

Food? Check. Wheat it is today; especially since she made his favourite Egusi soup earlier, seasoned with the assorted sallah beef sent in by grandpa. Going to the market had been a great ordeal what with all the traffic at every point in Lagos as it witnessed a barrage from returning Eid-celebrants. So when Darasimi got a call from her dad fondly referred to as grandpa that he had sent some ram meat over, pure relief enthused as she gladly made a U-turn from the bustling road, hitting the drive gear all the way home whilst singing along to R Kelly’s ‘Sex me’.

Toju was due back any moment now; his office had annoyingly pulled a fast one on them when he was pleaded with at the last minute to come prepare and clean up some office files in readiness for CBN’s inspection which was scheduled for Wednesday- immediately after the Sallah break. Toju’s work involves creating letters of credit for all customers and reconciling offshore accounts. Being a sensitive role, it had to be him and so all the initial weekend plan had gone to waste since he would also have to travel to Calabar in between for some other stuff.

Thank goodness Yemi had offered to keep the kids a day longer…sheer bliss. Isn’t she just awesomely blessed to have such wonderful in-laws? It would afford her all the time she needed to do the ‘R’ stuff with hubby without fear and worry of the little ‘goons’ sneaking up innocently on them.

Romantic setting? Check. The rooms were truly set now; bathroom, living room, dining room…basically all the rooms have a touch of the lavender petals oozing a special aphrodisiac smell. Scented candles well lit. Chardonnay was cooling in the fridge. Strawberry and honey laced ice-cream was her choice dessert. These alone would make any man’s knees weaken. Satisfied with her efforts at creating the perfect sexual alcove, Dara showered quickly changing into her outfit for the evening…a purple crop top showing off her smooth, radiant skin with a matching panties only that the bottom was a shade darker. Her long, elegant legs carefully accentuated with Jimmy Choos’ thigh high boots and of course her apron sexily tied around like a sarong to cover the ‘V’, she was ready to receive, serve and delight.

*********************

The key turned in the keyhole a second time alerting Dara to Toju’s arrival even though he had called her on his descent from the Calabar flight at exactly 2.30pm which was thirty minutes ago…the exact time it took to drive from the Lagos airport to their Magodo abode.

“Mushberry I’m home,” he called out his eyes adjusting to the semi-darkness. Toju dropped his bags by the recliner and went in the direction of the glowing light all the while wondering what his wife was up to this time.

“Mushberry?” he called out again

A scantily-sexily clad Dara sat at the foot of the stairwell, her legs spread wide with a smile dancing around her lips.

“Babe you look jaw-dropping fabulous,” he pulled her up for a smattering kiss; his tall frame enveloping her smaller one. “Have you forced the kids to sleep or what? How did you manage to prance around in this without them seeing?” he asked as his eyes took in every bit of her luscious body. He was feeling all ravenous all of a sudden.

“No jor,” she chuckled loudly “the ferry mother carted them away so it’s just you and me,” her fingers trailed his pointed nose.

“I didn’t want to give away my plans so I avoided mentioning they were still with your sister”. Dara rose on tiptoes and kissed her husband hotly on the ears whispering, “This evening is for adults only, no underage allowed”.

“Hmmm. So how do we begin this my beautiful, erotic wife?” “A quick shower or...” he left the words hanging.

“A very very quick shower sweets while I pour out some wine for you” Dara sent him off with a gentle swat on his bum.

Whistling and pulling on his tie as he took two steps at a time, Toju showered in five not even trying to keep the hormones down. Hard to believe his wife of 17 years who just turned 43 and he, approaching his 49th still thump this hard like school children crushing in love.

He exited the shower into the waiting arms of his damsel; wine in hand, apron gone, her ‘V’ in his full glare and all he could think about was downing the wine there and taking a hungry lick.

Darasimi seeing the emotions flicker across his face shook her head, “No. No. No. No. It’s my turn sweets…I’m going all the way”. She pushed Toju on the chair just by the bed and made him gulp some wine.

“I just knew we bought this chair for good reasons sweets,” 

Going south with her mouth, Darasimi started off very easily and gently watching his every expression as she did so. She knew where it tickled her oyoyo and she wasn’t afraid to try, anything to keep him in her coffers. Having read so much on the art of testicular-pleasuring, she put her tongue and fingers to great work wanting nothing else than to see her man squirm in pure ecstasy. Having carefully cut her nails, she made a gentle push on his perineum to intensify his orgasm. She remembered all she read about ‘Deep Throat’. Only that came to mind now, even though she mentally plans to try The Hoover; Peppermint Stick; Butterfly Flicks and Love Nibs later. Using all four fingers to hold him, she removed one finger to let go down a little further letting her mouth adjust to a deeper penetration. Because she stuck out her tongue before taking him in, she realized she could take more and caressed him with the back of her throat, adding some flavor at intermittent with the use of a lube. From the obvious shakes Dara realized even hubby couldn’t take it anymore at this point.

“Oh Dara, nibo lo ti ko e ni eleyi simi?” he bemoaned in his favourite Yoruba Language adding a bit of her name.

“The power of internet sweets and this is just round one love, we shall soon proceed to the bath tub…a long evening awaits us”.
 
Writer’s note – I hope no one is expecting a second part, please don’t. End of story. No more. I know lots of my readers are unmarried like me; so let’s save the imaginations till later.

Photo credit goes to… I really don’t know who to credit this picture to. I actually saw it, loved it and saved it. So whoever you are, wherever you are, thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of art (I found the image owner...many thanks to Peniel Enchill, you rock ma'am).


"nibo lo ti ko e ni eleyi simi" literally translates to "where did they teach you this to do to me"
 

In case you are also wondering how I came up with this…erm *scratches head*plenty reading o. I actually stumbled upon this Christian site a couple of months ago for married women. Its aim is to spice up the sex life of Christian married women. You know how we act now when it comes to pleasing our husbands in that regard, well I hope to use some titbits  when I finally get married. If you desire to be like me please find link HERE
 

PS - All activities described are for married couples o *lips sealed*

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Deliver me from puking

 
Now and always...inclusive of when I am pregnant (before y'all start wondering, I ain't).

Some fifteen-twenty years ago, I used to think owning and driving a car was such a luxury especially in Nigeria. Na big lie! Lie told from that very dark, deep pit of impoverishment. Thankfully I have come to that realization that it isn't in any bit and my strive to get cars has so grown by some amazing litres. 
But first, I must start with owning one and this immediate need didn't stem from a desire to enjoy cool music and air-conditioning o but a need to save my delicate lungs from serious retching. Walking the streets and jumping buses in Lagos is a mega challenge, I'm sure y'all will agree. Imagine my happiness at living in a place as grand as Omole phase 2 - lush scenery, cool breeze, clean air to breathe, safe environ to jog at any time of the day, pretty shawty to admire even though they drive pass in their cars ( I don't do girls o before your senses move into overdrive), lanky dudes to salivate over too only for that excitement to be cut off every time I walk out of the estate gate. My routine involves going by Ojota odour sorry motor park. That early morning waka pass the park nauseates me. From all the debris to already turning-dark-feaces to urine-washed stalls and soggy ground...arrrrrrrrrgh! That stench of urine is oga patapata. Damn irritating especially in those wee hours of the morning when I have to walk through the blasted car park. Every corner is urine-flowing, even if it is not someone will gladly refill the earth surface with fresh pee like it's some kind of libation! If not for the nature of the soil that adequately absorbs it would have been a different tale entirely because believe me I am yet to see a day where the backs of men will not be turned to me with their burrito facing the buses and doing some morning baptism. I wonder how the people that display their wares cope; yet they eat in that filth! o gbele o.
 

Dear Lord, I need a car ASAP!!!
 

As if the urine palaver is not enough, going home the other day I reluctantly sat beside this young guy. Naturally I am a window person, (for several reasons not limited to popping my head out of the window in 'space' admiration) but because the guy had taken my favorite spot I took the next best which was beside him only to realise a second too late I wouldn't be comfy in that spot. In that split-second-decision-making opportunity to change location, another beefy man blocked me from the right. So there I was sandwiched between a young blood who was wreaking of alcohol plus heavy cigarette smoke and an older blood oozing a terrible underarm odour (really holding myself back from cursing).

How will I not puke?


But I didn't. I said all the prayers I could mumble that both men would alight before me...that didn't happen so I changed direction of prayer for a quick delivery at my estate gate...my dear, that didn't happen either as the usual closing-hour traffic held us bound for a long while so my tender nostrils suffered the harsh n forced romance.  

I need a car, just the car...I've got my drivers' license already. 

Writer's note- o gbele o is an exclamation that even I can't translate
                          oga patapata literally means the head of all
Credit to all my friends; I picked some slang off you. Please keep gisting me. Feather kisses ;-)

Photo Source...GoogleImages

Monday, 22 September 2014

What matters


Been MIA for weeks now and folks have been wondering; rest assured dearies I am good.There's just so much to get sorted in so little time but good news is I got to do something I truly love doing in that 'activityless' period. I wrote this piece in my 2nd/3rd year in the university but tweaked it somewhat to suit occasion. So this is me going back memory lane; remembering my days in CASOR OOU, GODHOUSE Ikenne, Orientatation Camp, Farfaru in Sokoto State...all the days of writing and performing poetry in the house of God. I truly hope this blesses someone.

Life’s journey took me through west, 
At age 15 when I first met Jessie 
Damn right dirty, this girl was the best  
A decade older Jessie got me living on the edge 
2-4-7 we pleasured on the bed 
Getting stoned on dope and sipping brew 
Grass and coke, all on the menu


Ahead of my game I was really living large 

Halima, Fatima, Cynthia, Sunita 
Long legged, small waist, full bossom were my fondest 
All around campus I was tagged the hottest 
That was my name… 
I lived for the fame 
And everything that came with it; 
Hot chicks, cool digs 
All around town I was rolling 
Pleasure was all I lived for 
Earthly treasure was all I worked for
 

Tito…the household name in every bar 
The name on the lips of all the women in the spa 
Tito…the leader of the gang, dreaded master at shooting down targets 
& the go-to guy for everything shady
 

Then the years fly by and they didn’t do me any justice 
20 years on, my features are losing shape 
I got doctors round the clock trying to save my face 
20 years on I’m more bones than flesh, no strength in my chest 
My liver is failing; the dust is calling out to me 
All through my hay days, I sought solace & perfection in funny living; 
took to parties, whoring and gambling; all of which morphed into pain
 

But…While lurking in my bad habits I found something 
Something…something worth nothing 
It was more demanding than amusing 
I found that in my pleasurable lifestyle, I had no content, no joy, no rest of mind
 

Even I a master had failed at his game 
Nothing is certain in life. It is true. 
But...who never fails or strays at his game? 
Who never changes and remains the same? 
My head is clouded…my eyes shrouded… 
A name rings, starting to form 
Who’s the best, in top form ahead of his game never to stumble?

A know all? A do all? 

A conqueror, an unchangeable being? A victor, A warrior?

Who is? Who is the upholder of all things? 

The everlasting, the rock, the true light, the builder, the foundation, the e-eend? 
Who is?
JC?, But that’s the Lord Jesus Christ


Yet in all my excitement and this feeling of newness 

A voice shrills at me 
Horrid thoughts rolling through my mind 
Once a whore, always a whore 
Once a gambler, always a gambler 
Once a thief, always a thief 
Once a lesbian, always a lesbian 
Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic 
Once a sinner, always a sinner

I’m lost and helpless to a fault 

Whose voice shall I belief 
But…But…who then can condemn me? 
For judgement is of the Lord’s 
Who is saying unto me… 
“All things are of God who hath reconciled us to Himself through Christ Jesus, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation” 
He is saying unto me… 
"Let the wicked forsake his ways and the unrighteous man his thoughts, Let him return to the Lord and he will have mercy on him and to our God for he will abundantly pardon".
 

That’s our God of love; his sweet fragrance spreading out 
He’s calling you too…come home sister, come home brother to the feet of Christ Jesus. 

(Spoken word poetry at Doxa International Christian Centre, Ajah)

Friday, 29 August 2014

Clutters...the unfinished thoughts


"In a game, where no one loses and no one wins...
In a game where no one watches and no one sees"

"A story of a young man, whose life was a short one...
Born in the wake of winter, frostiness ushered him inside
He is by the name spider, who spins the silk gossamer"

"I'm skittish
now he had to mention my weight
I'm binging
got to shed some of this sh**
eating & puking..."

"My ex and I as thick as thieves
We roamed the street, had no place to sit
Slept in the dark, a single clothe on our backs
we smiled still, hand in hand in love
My ex and I as thick as thieves
So in love even a blind man could see"

"He really wants to get there
She's so tempted to bare them"

"She's all talk and no walk"

"Who heard the story, of the lil girl with a box of jewellery
Who came and stole it, her only 'bread' in the midst of nothing"

"When I need to whine
My words don't rhyme
The sentences don't even jive
I'm unashamed of the tears
UN-bothered by the stares"


Well, I can't seem to find all my jotters. Some unfinished thoughts are forever lost to me.




Photo Source...Google Images




Worth Blogging Experience...

DISCLAIMER - The question in the post does not in any way reflect the thoughts of the writer; it is strictly for discourse amongst readers.



Me and my many 'driver-encounters'...*long sigh*

So this time around, I heard something confusingly interesting from another driver and I am just going to turn it into a question to you all.

Here goes...


A married boy or a married man, is there a difference???


He said there is and it is better for a lady to date a married boy than a married man.

I still have my confused look on so don't ask me. In a way this is an opinion poll, let's hear you.




Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Na till Eternity?

She looks so stunning today, he thought to himself. With the looks of a river goddess like those paraded at the yearly Osun-Oshogbo Festival. He knows he is lucky to have her, a real damsel she is with eyes as clear as liquid soda; teeth impeccable and as white as snow. That figure! Oh that figure!! MyMyMy, that figure!!! Every African man's dream...so full, yet so su-ccu-lent. He is happy to be called her man, who wouldn't want such a beauty?

Only that...

They have been friends for just six months though he has high hopes of taking things to the next level. He means to ask her tonight at the stadium after watching their favorite team in action.

Only that...

True, they seem to like the same recreational activities. Yeah, some compatibility in there but he has some doubts nonetheless. Carol is a natural beau, no doubt about that even in her jersey with hair undone, she looks like a million dollar bucks...see her hips sway as she sashays towards him but she seems to like a lot of things. Her zest for fun is more than he can contain sometimes.

"Hey honeybae," Carol called out, her long strides matching Dinma's as they reached out to each other for a soft peck on the cheek.

"Little missy", was Dinma's response, playfully ruffling her hair just the way she likes it. "We have to hurry now before the game starts or you wanna eat something before we hit the stadium?"

"Yeah...maybe. Some baked herb-crusted chicken with ice-cream," she smiled

"Okey dokey, let's get the lady energized for some cheering later on," Dinma winked and opened the passenger door so she could rest from standing on her newly acquired 6" Steve Madden. He made a circular move to the driver side, key in ignition, David Gray's Babylon on replay and they were good to go.

************

"So how come your hair is undone? I noticed it's been this way for weeks now, you've been too busy or what?" he made a sideways glance

"We...well, not exactly,"

"So what exactly?" he asked again making his way into the mall right at the corner street before the stadium 

"I just don't have the money to buy a weave-on that would suit my face and last too"

"Hmmm...so how much will that cost" Dinma asked 

"A hundred and fifty thousand Naira. A pack is actually seventy-five and that's because I'll be buying 32" plus I'll also be needing two for a better bounce," she said excitedly with hands in her laps

And Dinma replied with derision, "wetin sef, na till eternity? I've not even finished paying for the shoe you are wearing, I got it off sis with promise to pay next month!"

Writer's note - An interesting conversation with a friend sparked off the line of thought that inspired this short story. Personally, I haven't bought a weave that expensive and it won't happen...I know someone would probably go, "it's because you don't have the money," but truly even if my bank accounts held so much with my investments scattered across the globe, I wouldn't spend such huge amount on hair! Na till eternity?

This sudden obsession and aggressively acquisitive nature of girls tire me. Almost every girl believes 'divine luxury' is for her. The money go just rain from heaven na, make you nor go work. When did women stop taking pride in earning and spending their own money? If you must buy any of those Brazilian, Peruvian, Indian, Mongolian, Malaysian, Miranda, Cambodian and all the many 'ians' weaves, by all means spend your money on them. If you find it naturally discomfiting to spend your hard-earned money on such, why bother the young man about it? 

Photo Source...Google Images

Monday, 25 August 2014

What matters...

The purpose of life transcends beyond "personal existence" and "personal sustenance' and I strongly believe that everyone has a mantle to show love to other people- however that is achieved; through material giving or assisting in all forms of development. What is the meaning of life if you are entirely wrapped up in self? Personally, I am inspired and motivated at all times by John Wesley’s quote urging me to “do all the good I can, by all the means I can, in all the ways I can, in all the places I can, at all the times I can, to all the people I can, as long as I ever can,”and this is why I gladly associate with people who tread this path.

Remember our leaders are readers walk? Yeah, exactly! The one I lent my voice to and talked about in the previous 'what matters' (click on link to read) . Those are great people making impact. I know there are a thousand and one more out there, I celebrate you all even as I bring to the forefront of your minds another great initiative.
 

You all will agree with me that the youths of every economy are her major asset, they represent her future and so focus should be on these delicate people who have somehow missed it along the way - definitely not all. GiddyNetwork is one of such platforms in Nigeria that provides a strong foothold for youths. Regarded as Africa's leading Youth Network, its mission is to PROVIDE VARIOUS PLATFORMS TO INSPIRE, EDUCATE AND EMPOWER THE NIGERIAN/AFRICAN YOUTH. Beautiful thing worthy of note is that the organization's reach goes beyond the shores of this land. Youths are welcomed from all over. As long as it concerns the youths, Giddy Network will come to the rescue and so it's no surprise that GN would flag-off with an amazing initiative that aims at creating financial independence to youths by equipping them with the necessary. See below for an excerpt of what GN is saying...


"Ideas... Funding... Wealth Creation... Financial Independence.. Empowerment...


The story always begins with the right idea but ideas will always remain ideas until they become a working reality.

Do you have a business idea?
Are you a budding entrepreneur?
You have the idea but no funds?


Take that bold step and meet with our faculty of experienced investors and see you dream take flight.

All you need to do is as simple as ABC


Register : www.giddynetwork.com

then send 2 pages summary of your idea(s) to

email: ideas@giddynetwork.com"




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